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Thursday, December 8, 2011

The shock.....

     The shock.  I had stomach issues and felt sick all the time.  I couldn't eat.  At this point in our lives we had two sons.  Brad and Brett.  Brett was a miracle.  Right from day one I had problem after problem carrying him.  I was given an 80% chance of losing him.  They didn't have much hope at all for him getting here.  I refused to terminate against the doctors recomendations.  I was determined to leave his fate in God's hands.  At 6 months my kidneys began to shut down.   My liver also was swelling and acting up.  They were going to bring him then but my blood preasure leavled out for the night and they sent me home.  Sent me home to be injected with heavy steroids to mature the babies lungs as we knew he was going to come early.  I was put on strickt bed rest as well with him.  That's just a shadow of the pregnancy I described.  It was stressful and very scary.  He did come almost 8 weeks early.  He was in NICU for 10 days.  He weighed right at 3 pounds at 2 weeks age when we took him home. I was told I could not have anymore children after carrying him through all i went through.  They had a crash team in the delivery room as they were convinced I would either stroke or have a heart attack.  They had warned my family of the high chances of one or both of us not living through the ordeal.  We did!  He is now fourteen years old and a wonderful son!  Very smart!  We tried for almost 3 years to have another child once he turned two.  I guess I forgot how bad it was!  LOL!  That's when it was reinforced from the doctor that the only way another child would happen would be through fertility.  We both agreed we didn't want six at once! So that closed that door.  We had two wonderful boys at that time.  

We had never really had a vacation, a real vacation since we were married.  Our boys were eight and fifteen.  The family twisted our arm and we all went as a huge family for a week to Flordia to enjoy the beach and relax.  It was so much fun!  We didn't want to come home!  We had nice rooms in the resort we stayed at.  We had a jacuzi in our room!  Which we enjoyed every single night!  LOL!  Vacations end and home bound we all become.  Back to home, back to work, back to the daily grind we were able to forget for a week.  

I got tired of the feeling sick all the time feeling.  We thought it was from the RA.  We didn't think there was much that could be done to chase it away.  Went for a routine visit to the Rheumatologist.  He comes in the room and began talking about starting me on more intese meds to treat the disease that obviously was progressing.  He ordered the blood work as I had to have preliminary blood work done before he could write out the script for the meds to make sure everything was ok for me to take them.  I came back the following week to get the script and he said I cannot prescribe these meds for awhile.  I was in shock.  Why not I asked.  He looks at me and without so much as a wink said, I cannot prescribe these meds because you are pregnant.  I about fell out of the chair I was sitting on!  I am what?!  Here I am 37 years old, 2 years into RA and treatment and after trying for a third child, and being told I couldn't, I AM PREGNAT!  
I was stunned.  My husband was 40. I went to the my OBGYN who said I could not have children and could not get pregnant without fertility help.  I looked at her with shock and said I thought you knew what you were doing here!  You said I could not get pregnant.  That's how I learned vacations can really take the stress away in more ways than one!  LOL!  

Then came the moment to tell hubby.  He was really stressed out with running his own business at the time.  He was hardly home.  My dad had passed away the spring before as well.  Then I had the RA to worry about because now I was off all of my meds and did not know what that was going to do to me or to my child I was carrying.  I didn't even know if I could carry this child after what I went through getting my 2nd son here!  I was scared to death.  Scared to move.  Scared to do anything.  My husband was upset.  He was more worried than upset. He was worried about me, worried about money, worried about everything involved.  I know I didn't want to go through what I went through getting my last child here again.  It was difficult to deal with on so many levels.  

Well, long story short, I had a wonderful pregnancy as the OBGYN put me on insulin which should have done with my last child.  He was only 2 weeks early as well.  He is healthy and wonderful.  He is now five years old and a handful but, so much light in our lives.  

My RA journey has so many aspects.  So many things have happened in our lives in the last 4 years it's amazing at times I am still standing. I am still standing.  I was not able to pick my baby up with my hands or wrists.  I had to use my forearms.  That was not fun.  I had to understand taking care of him was going to be more of a challenge now with RA than taking care of my first two sons ever was.  Now, with him at age five, I have not been able to pick him up since he was three.  My mobilibty is much worse now. I worry all the time about what shape I will be in when he turns eighteen.  But, I try not to think about that.  I try to only think of now, and what I have with my sons at this moment and this time.  I am thankful for what I do have with them.  

The saga contiunues!  Return next time for more of my journey.  It gets more interesting.  Gets more involved! 

Also, please understand, I am not a speller!  My grammar stinks and my spelling really lacks.  I apologize in advance for the lack in spelling and grammar. 

1 comment:

  1. It is very important to exercise and increase muscle tone of your non-weight bearing joints. Experts tell us that disuse results in muscle atrophy and weakness. Additionally, immobility may result in joint contractures and loss of range of motion. Some people don't just get how painful it is to deal with RA as if they do not know what is rheumatoid arthritis